Muddle headedness….

Well. I’m out of work. In short things were going bad and i pretty well quit today. Some say i could’ve been fired, but i got in first. It was not pretty and was….upsetting. The, for lack of a better term, conversation which followed was blunt, vindictive and basically hurtful.

However this conjures curiously mixed feelings. I mean i’m not happy that i’ve lost a stream of income, and I’m definately feeling injured still from what was said to me, but I’m strangely happy and at peace. I’m out of there. I have no obligations. I tried to do the right thing and i feel that it wasn’t only my fault.  Another nice point is that because it was contract work, I don’t need to use them as a referee, reference or have any contact with them ever again.

WOOP! *pops party popper*

I get my time back, and sure while i’m not being paid I can do a lot with that time. I can search for work, i can study, i can do art and craft stuff….

and now for something utterly cute

….Over and out….

Musings of an empty mind

It’s been pretty quiet of late.

Ended up taking my driving test on Sunday past, ended up passing with a score/percentage of 93. Ended up going down to the transport centre on the Monday, was really surprised by the speed and efficiency of service. The reception people were prompt and gave clear, concise instructions on what to fill out and where to find pens etc… and it didn’t take long at all before my number was called for counter service. So now I am on my p-plates which is kind of a scary thought in some ways. I think my first solo-drive will be very strange and rather nerve wracking, especially considering that it’ll be Wednesday at night (re about 9pm) into the city. I mean i know the route and everything, that part’s fine it’s more the finding parking on own and not having that second set of eyes on the lookout for idiot drivers (soon to be one more ;P ) I think everything will go ok, it’s just a strange kind of feeling I guess. I haven’t told sGILLz yet, planning on having it as almost a little surprise

I must be a cold bitch though it seems. This has been evidenced by a number of things.

I was recently recommended a book, complete with a ‘it made me cry multiple times’ warning/ comment kind of thing.  I’m most of the way through and…nothing. Not even sadness really, i mean there’s been an ‘awww’ moment but it barely caused a pause for thought or even a pause really. Other was while i was reading an article on the glowing monkeys developed in….i think it was Japan. Anyway, they’ve gen-gineered these marmosets so that their hands and feet fluoresce under UV light. Now the big thing is that they’ve now gotten that spliced gene to become hereditary. Sure they’ve done similar with mice to my knowledge, but to do it with the primates is much harder due to the DNA complexity and structuring. Now as per habit I scroll down to comments section to see what outcry this has managed to garner. C’mon it’s inevitable with this kind of thing! Glowing monkeys and genetic experiments on creatures so similar to ourselves is bound to stir up readers.  Anyway, getting back to the sort-of thread. There was a post, which had gathered a reasonable amount of support which basically called in inhumane, unethical etc etc etc largely because of the way in which the test-animals are treated. Cold cages for their whole lives, babies taken away from mothers and, the cherry on the top, how once the monkeys have completed their purpose they are killed for analysis and dissection without painkillers as this may effect results and findings. My thoughts? Whoop-de-freaking-doo. What do you expect people? Them to be coddled and gently and lovingly cared for, for the duration of their fuzzy little lives? Yes, the lack of painkiller use may seem inhumane but there are surely ways and means to kill something cleanly and as painlessly as possible. The commenter spoke about, if memory serves right, how they were beheaded. We do worse to our own kind. Far far worse. Are the animals tortured before death? Are they left permanently disfigured for the remainder of their life? Starved to death? Made to live in their own waste without clean water? Are they cut open while their heart is still beating? Killed or harmed just for the fun of it? Pfah. I highly doubt so. Children are taken away from their parents everyday, hell, children have been made to watch as their friends and family are killed.

I’m not saying that it’s right to separate the baby from the mother, or that the cage method is the best for the marmoset. Yes changes need to be made, and yes things aren’t really right. But there are much bigger inhumanities, moral crimes and atrocities in the world than a lab-animal being killed for analysis, why are people so quick to cry out when the cute-fuzzies are in a situation which could be better, yet just go ‘aww that’s sad’ or ‘ that’s horrible’ and turn away again when it’s one of our own?

I don’t know. Mebbe I’m too hard, perhaps my heart should ache more for the ‘poor ickle lab creatures’. Perhaps I should be more of a softy in terms of the emotional content of things. *shrugs*

Moving on……

Watched the ‘Yes-men’ last night, weird in some ways, but highly enjoyable in others. In short it’s pretty much about a group of guys who set up a website ‘next-door’ to the WTO (World Trade Organization). They ended up receiving some e-mails from people, believing they were the WTO, to come and speak at events and conferences. They went and spoke. It’s amazing how much they got away with. Not action-packed, no romance, no drama or aliens, but definately worth a look if you get chance.

-Azzarath

Contemplation on a veritable glut of possibilities

Bugger. I had a nice neat little rant all typed up and firefox died. I’ll try my best to re-construct it but i doubt it’ll be as smooth.

The bane of my day has been resistance to change.

Not just any resistance to change however, but that dogmatic stubborn approach which is so very very special.

The outlook where anything new is automatically branded too difficult or undesirable, even when plenty of evidence has beeen provided to the contrary. That particular brand of bull-headed determination to stick to the dust-ridden ritualitic methoids which have seemingly become a tradition, so very ingrained that it’s like the red coridal stain on the metaphorical cream-coloured carpet. Scrubbing only makes it worse and the only way to deal with the bedamned thing is to basically tear the lot up with utter disregard to the underlaying floorboards.  This is of particular irritance to me when the current, accepted methods or ‘comfort zone’ only extends to processes and ways which are inefficient and ineffectual. Even if, as previously said, evidence is given to give substance to the arugement of altering the current ways and even if multiple people have made noises of encouragement, supporting the change or growth, it gets ignored.  Is it ever too late to learn or advance? it doesn’t even have to be a permanant change, even a trial. ANYTHING for goodness sake to give it a chance. *sigh* Yes, there is bound to be reluctance, but you cannot keep to all of the antiquated methods and survive, which seems to be ever truer in todays ever-changing world. Progress. Learn. Experiment. Or die.

Been looking for a second job, thank goodness i don’t need it.

Too few qualifications, too many qualifications, too old, too young, wrong hours, too little experience.

usual kind of job-hunting-joys.

I have my P-plate test on….sunday i believe. Must admit that i am very much looking forward to it. Ended up attempting to do some driving with my dad while my mum was working on wednesday. It went as well as usual. Which is to say, not very well. Out of an hour and a half, i ended up doing only about 45 mins worth of driving. I really do hate driving with my dad. He’s like an old lady with wet underpants (apologies to any out there for any offense caused, I’m sure you aren’t as picker-nickety as my dad is), nothing is right. I’m going too fast, going too slow, not driving smooth enough, not being sharp enough, too cautious, too bold…..etc etc… all conveyed through the horrible horrible mediums of body language and small snide comments/questions.  How delightful [/sarcasm] Anyway, end result at the end i was furious, near tears with half to a third of my original confidence left. I was literally thinking ‘fuck. i’m to going to pass, i’m not going to pass,how can i pass when i have these issues driving with my dad?!’

Time passes as do some conversations, all in all it’s pretty much been said that if i can drive with my dad for even a short amount of time without collapsing into a puddle of stress,anger or having a mini-breakdown, the test’ll be easy in comparison. I really can believe that.

Take a look at this while you’re here, it’s 100 extraordinary examples of paper art. Some are jaw-dropping.

Ah well, that should be enough of a post for now, i’ll see about making my updates more frequent, even though i doubt many read this .

Night all!

-Azzarath